Dream sequence

Today we developed the dream sequence in the play. This was based on the idea of using movement from our feet, elbows and hips. Then we developed onto the idea of our hand waking us up - or trying to. This was a good experience as an actor because apart from that brief movement description and some stimulus words we were given the freedom to explore this terrifying dream alone, through physical movement. This helped me to develop my character background and allowed me to understand her day to day frustration more. This was because the dream sequence leads directly into my beginning scene with Ruby, it also is what happens after the scene which I kill Ruby.

The dream is a significant part of the play which draws the 12 together. Without it the play was beginning to feel limp, and like it had no tangible theatricality to lift the words off the page. Having created this dream it now feels like our play had become a story. It has more depth to it and the characters are starting to make sense to me. The basis of the dream was simple but it allows us as actors to go with our instincts and work organically from whatever nightmeare our character has in its head. 

Discussions with my peers within the show after rehearsals lead me to feel like we are at a turning point within rehearsals. The skeleton of the play is there, with the dream sequence being the heart if that and it's now up to us to bring it alive. Now we need to realise how important it is to just know what we need to do and when, do it and do it well. Some of actors, including myself need to work on the projection and articulation of their speech. If we don't we will be lost when we enter the big theatre. I also feel that I have some more work to do on my character. There is still something missing and I think it's about the amount of pressure and unbalance in her mind that we can't see, that I need to portray through her voice and body. I also feel like this about some of the strong characters within the play that aren't been given enough energy or strength to the roles. Now we have the basic play in order and the dream it might be easier for people to go back over and re discover a character again.

Rehearsal evaluation

The main problem with our rehearsals so far is working out the box transitions. I think I haven't made enough notes on what the box transitions should be and what positions it should be in. For me this is because I have struggled to fuly visualise the box and how it will look onstage when it is fully built. However, I'm not actually required to move the box more than once, therefore more people need to be making notes of where the box should be in every scene and who needs to move it.

There are a few scenes where I know the lines but the line order is what I struggle with. This in particular is in the scene where Sarah kills Ruby. This is holding me back from really engaging in the scene and I think I need to spend more time re learning those lines. 

I think I have spent a lot of time researching my character which has helped inform my choices. However, I don't think I have applied enough to the character in order to create an interesting performance therefore I would say I'm currently working at a merit level of performance and rehearsal.

On Wednesday we had a rehearsal without our director. We had our stage managers there which helped us to stay organised. I think tensions were high and a lot of people weren't focused enough. It was tricky to make people give their full energy when it was just other students in the room. However, after running it did start to feel like a play people might want to watch. 

Psychologist Interview

As a part of my character research I decided to interview a psychologist about unstable women, in particular women who kill their children. She sat with me for over an hour discussing my character and some cases within the public domain and others which are private and confidential to her, without revealing names or any exact words of her patients.

She explained to be a concept called projection. This is where we take the parts of ourselves we don't like and push them onto someone else. The example she used was talent competitions on television. People can mock the clothes or the weight of a contestant, usually because its an insecurity of their own as opposed to what they really think about the person. Most people with a sane mind then separate themselves from this projection and realise that they are actually nice or worth giving a chance. However, often people with psychotic disorders can't separate themselves from this and this can lead them to do extreme things, even kill. When people project all the negative aspects of themselves onto someone else it can be seen as looking into a mirror and only seeing the bad parts of yourself. This can become very overwhelming when you can't separate yourself from it. She suggested that this could be part of what motivates my character to kill Ruby. If all your negative projections go onto your child this makes you feel very resentful towards them. She explained that Sarah might be doubting her own faith, which is what she built her life around. These doubts of her belief may be projected onto Ruby and that is shown through Ruby's exploration of atheism. This then sends Sarah into a frenzy, because of the nightmares she has, which I think are making her question her beliefs, this then could be what makes her decide to kill Ruby. Often unstable Mothers kill their children to save themselves.

Another reason psychotic Mothers kill or abuse their children to save the child. Many Women begin to have extraordinary views of the world and become convinced into believing an alternative reality. They then become fixated on the fact that their child is unsafe and do what they think is protecting them but in reality this could be extremely abusive and often result in the death of the child. A case study the psychologist gave me to read was about a women like this. She had become convinced that the community around her had a paedophile ring which were planning to abduct and sexually abuse her children. She decided the only way to save them was by killing them. She had the plan to kill them for a while then one day after taking them to school she came home and began to carry out this plan in detail. She prepared dinner mixing in medication to sedate them, she was also planning on killing herself.  She then built 3 nooses, one for her and for her 2 children. When the children came home she ended up drowning her eldest daughter in the bath tub, while the other child ran for help. After being arrested she was admitted to a secure unit. In her first therapy session she spoke about her guilt. But not for killing the child but not for succeeding in saving both. As her medication began to control her erratic thoughts she began to realise what she had done and felt incredible guilt for both killing the child and for the one still alive. She kept seeing the image of the bath water and her child dead. She could no longer take baths only showers. She did this because she had become convinced that her children were in danger. It was out of insanity and incredible love, not evil however she then went on to commit an evil crime.

This reminds me of Sarah in some way because she claims to do what she did because she believed her child was evil, and she wanted to save others. There is another case I was told about where a mother killed her son because she had become convinced that he was possessed by the devil. So in her mind she had no choice but to kill him. This relates to Sarah and Ruby. There is a definite psychotic element to what Sarah believes and does. The psychologist explained to me that religion can become like an obsession for many unstable women and can lead them to doing unthinkable things in the 'name of god'. The main conclusion I drew from this interview was that these women weren't evil, but extremely mentally ill. This can lead them to do evil things.

The issue with giving these women mental health care is that once they become well enough again they are then at high risk of becoming suicidal and many of them do.  I then asked her if we should giving these women mental health care when all will lead to is them being depressed when they re enter reality again. This was a difficult question as who can say what is right about the human mind? Sanity is a delicate line we tread every day and when someone falls over the edge it can end with horrible consequences. I think this relates this to Sarah. When Dennis first comes to see her in prison she is justifying what she has done. However her last line she says 'No I can't sleep how could I' and 'Of course I think about her all the time'. I think this shows her coming back to reality and beginning to absorb the guilt she feels.

American Accent Work

One of the technical challenges of my character is the Standard American accent. Since its only my character and 2 others with this accent we haven't spent time in class learning how to do it. I have found it useful to practice through some youtube tutorials. Through doing these every few days I am learning how important it is to do a full vocal warm up in order to get a full grasp on the accent. Without doing so I find myself swallowing words, slipping up on my accent and my mouth feels stiff and not like a useful tool. The tutorials aren't perfect as they cannot tell me when I get it right and push me in that way but they have been a good starting point and have taken me back to basics before building me back up again.

This video recommends you do the warm up video. I have done this many times but I have also found it useful to adapt the warm up to suit me and how I feel that day and to how my voice and body work.

My journey through the play

ACT ONE
Scene 1 -

Dream sequence (tbc)

Scene 2- 

Staging: Downstage, stay onstage after scene 1
Characters: Ruby, John and Dennis
Props: Mobile phone, bags
Costume: TBC, possibly suits and smart clothing
Location: outside the airport waiting for a taxi

Scene 3-not in

Scene 4- not in 

Scene 5- not in

Scene 6- not in 

Scene 7- not in 

Scene 8- not in

Scene 9- not in

Scene 10- not in

Scene 11- not in 

Scene 12- not in

Scene 13 - not in

Scene 14 - 

Staging: In the box, standing up chopping and Ruby sits

Characters: Ruby and Sarah

Props: Food, chicken, knifes

Costume: TBC

Location: Kitchen of the Americans home

Scene 15- not in

Scene 16- not in

Scene 17- not in

Scene 18-  Party scene, characters undecided

ACT 2

Scene 1 - The dream sequence

Scene 2 - not in

Scene 3- not in

Scene 4- Not in

Scene 5:

Staging: Stage right, sitting down

Characters: Dennis, Ruby and Sarah

Props: Food, tables, chairs, plates and cutlery

Costume: TBC

Location: Kitchen

Scene 6:

Staging: Sarah walks through the scene when John begins speaking

Characters: John, Liam, Holly,

Props: Phone (for Sarah), Box for John

Costume: TBC

Location: The park

Scene 7- not in

Scene 8- not in

Scene 9 - Edith plays the piano until the beginning of scene 10, I enter from the box door

Scene 10 -

Staging: Outside box

Characters: John and Sarah

Props: box, cigarettes

Costume: tbc

Location: Outside the Americans home

Scene 11 - not in

Scene 12- not in

Scene 13-

Staging:

Characters: Ruby and Sarah

Props: Kindle, knifes, vegetables

Costume:tbc

Location: Americans Kitchen

ACT 3

Scene 1- Dream sequence

Scene 2- Not in

Scene 3-

Staging: Sitting down, stage right

Characters: Dennis and Sarah

Props: Laptop, chairs, toaster, bread, butter, plate, mug, coffee pot

Costume: Dennis in a suit, Sarah in a dressing gown and PJ's

Location: Kitchen in Americans house

Scene 4- not in

Scene 5 - not in

Scene 6- not in

Scene 7-

Staging:Stage right

Characters: Dennis and Sarah

Props: Cigarettes

Costume: tbc 

Location:Kitchen table

Scene 8:

Staging:  same as 7, split scene with other characters emerging

Characters: Dennis, Sarah, Zia, Shannon, Holly and Edith, John, Mark, Alice, Stephen

Props:

Costume:tbc

Location:The park, downing street, the Americans home, lecture hall