Rehearsal videos and performance photos

Performance Evaluation

As I previously reviewed our first show was really successful. The main issue with it on my part was the smoking scene. Me and John meisnered this scene before the performance to hopefully allow it to be free and instinctual and not awkward.

Our second show didn't feel as powerful and smooth as the first night. I think this was partly because we hadn't done a run through that day, we had been rehearsing for our physical theatre show. Also I had an hour of a sociology lesson before the show as well. The first night was tiring because we did a 12 hour day with very little break but I think it helped us to be immersed in the world of the show. But on our second night it didn't feel like any of us were living in the show. I know I wasn't listening in the way I had been to the other actors on stage, I had just been repeating the show not living in the show.

The box also created a lot of issues in this performance. When I am meant to pin the box back up after the dream sequence the pins hadn't been tied on their string properly so I struggled to keep the box upright and find the pin on the floor in the dark. This made me very tense and stressed and the technical team eventually came and helped, but it brought me right out of the performance and I was so wound up in the frustration that the audience probably saw and I had very little time to change costume and I feel this must of affected my performance in my next scene but by the second half I felt I began to live more in the play, especially the scene with Sarah and Dennis in prison.

Our final performance night felt a lot better, but still not as great as the first night did. Maybe this was just because opening night is always more nerve racking when you don't know how an audience will react, but this time we had a rough idea of how. The box had a fair few technical glitches this time, it was clearly getting old and needs to retire. I felt like the 2nd night shocked us back into action and we started listening to each other again.

In the killing scene with Sarah and Ruby no vegetables were set out in the box for me to chop and the beginning of the scene, so I couldn't chop then as it would look weird. This meant I just improvised with Ruby more, taking her kindle, tapping it, anything to try keep the pace up on my part, as I have very little lines to respond with. However, when I start to kill her I felt like it worked ok not having anything there I was actually cutting because it was more symbolic and abstract. The audience didn't comment on this after so I think we got away with it.

Some people still needed to work on their projection and articulation as many audience members complained of not being able to here some characters. This was a real shame because I felt like we had created a really strong, living piece and some people weren't pushing their technical acting ability far enough to share this with the audience.

The piece was really well directed as it gave us the chance to find freedom in our acting whilst staying true to the story and the message of the play. When we listened to one another on stage the acting just felt like two or three characters just existing in these imaginary circumstances. I learned so much through this process both in rehearsals and in my own research. We never stopped trying something new and learning something more about our characters and the show right up until the last performance and I think that is what made the piece so effective and the entire process so special.

Show day

Today we began working at 9. We went through all the box transitions to make sure everyone knew when and how to move the box. This helped to finalise everything we had done in the tech previously. We then went on to do a dress run. This run was messy, but everyone was doing what they could. We lost some of the energy of the piece but overall it was ok.

Our second dress run was more successful. The feedback we got made it feel like we had a fully successful performance. Everyone was listening and responding onstage. In particular the prison scene with me and Dennis felt different to any other time we had performed it, and it felt better. I let go of how the scene had been before and I found a more insane side to my character. 

In one of the dress runs of the killing scene the fridge wasn't working so the boy who comes in to grab ruby offstage wasn't in the fridge. This meant that me and other actor playing ruby had to improvise lines for about 2 minutes until the director told her to just get off the stage. This shouldn't happen again seeing as the boy coming into the fridge now knows how to work it. 

Over the course of the day we didn't have much of an oppiurtnity to have a break. Most of us coped well and adapted to this. There were a couple of people who had negative attitudes on show day which affected cast dynamics but I think we managed to ignore any negative behaviour and focus on ourselves and looking after eachother onstage.

Our first performance in front of the audience went really well. The response we got from the audience was extremely positive. They understood and followed the story and reacted in the way we would hope. It was extremely satisfying to get such a great response from fellow students, teachers and family members.

In our feedback session we went over the directors notes from the performance and discussed what we needed to do in order to maintain the standard of the previous performance and to improve. I need to work on filling the gaps in the smoking scene between Sarah and John.  This scene has always needed work. It is tricky because when speaking to audience members they said they liked it because they saw both characters were getting something totally different from one another. But as an actor the scene feels awkward and we should apply some meisner technique in order to make in natural again. 

Some of the actors needed to project their voices more as the audience lost most of what they were saying. I am aware my accent slipped up at a few points. This was partly because I didn't focus on it as I have been doing it for so long. It was also due to me not taking the time to do the Amy walker American accent warm up and tutorial before the performance. 

Technical rehearsals

Our tech rehearsal was extremely challenging. We all had to adapt to using the box for the first time, with very little time before the performance to perfect the transitions. At first I feel like the focus and energy of the cast was high, but everyone was tense and nervous. The lack of rehearsal time with box left everyone feeling anxious about the quality of our first performance. However, I think the majority of our cast remained well focused and hard working through both technical rehearsals. It took about 11 hours over 2 days but eventually we got through the entire show.

The tech gave us all a chance to finally get a real sense of what our final show would be. For me personally I learned that I had a lot more to do with the moving and opening of the box. It is my job to unpin the box for all the American house scenes. This can be quite tricky as I have to remove everything from the table, and find the pins which usually fall to floor and pin the box quickly so they can begin to move the box back into its place. This can be done however, it's hard to do quickly and safely and it's easy for the door to fall too far forward and for the pins to be quite stiff and tricky to put in place. 

It was hard during our tech to perform the script to the best of our abilities. The stop/start rythm to rehearsal meant you couldn't fully let a scene develop and for me personally stopped me feeling like I could listen to the other actors onstage and organically respond. However, this was part of the plan and I'm sure next time we rehearse on the day of the performance we will be able to do this.

Evaluation of a rehearsal

This rehearsal I felt like I was pushing myself to get into my role even more so. We were rehearsing the scenes after my character kills her daughter. This meant the emotional state of my character changes and develops. I was really getting into how she must feel and her logic behind her actions with me and Dennis. I felt like we were communicating a relationship across which we haven't done in previous scenes.

Overall it wasn't as successful as our previous rehearsal. The energy between scenes wasn't working, this is partly to do with the box. The energy betweens scenes is dropping, because of people not working around the fact that we don't have the box. It is a challenge and it is worrying not having the box. It means there is an element of the play which is outside our control. However, we need to ignore it for now and focus on building the pressure within scenes and raising the stakes.

There are still some scenes where is feels like people do not know the significance and true meaning of what they are saying. This is clear in some of the government scenes.  When discussing factually based content it is even more important to know what your saying and to 'see what you say'. If you can't fully visualise it for yourself then you can't expect the audience to.

I need to work on some scenes between me and Dennis. It is a really difficult issue we are dealing with and I don't think any of us have fully realised how twisted the home life situation had to be in order for my character to commit such an awful crime. I think we need to focus on the situation more and realise the severity of it, because the stakes aren't high enough for it to be believable. I don't feel like you can tell how much Sarah has to lose and how much Dennis loses. This is something we can research and learn about over the Christmas break. I hope when we all come back we will have realised given circumstances more. 

How to spot a liar

In 13 after my character kills her daughter she then lies about it to her husband, and to the police. We see her lying and pretending to not know where her daughter is. She is found out eventually, but we don't see how this happens. I have struggled with this scene where I am lying because I can't work out how she would be in that situation. Is she feeling guilt or remorse? Or is she just relishing in the fact that she has nearly gotten away with it? Or is she just petrified of being found out? I researched mothers who kill and made the decision that Sarah must have some sort of psychotic disorder. This means to me that she doesn't feel guilty straight away, she honestly believes she did the right thing. She is only upset because she has lost Dennis. Towards the end of the play when we have the split scene and everyone says a few lines, that's when she is feeling guilt. I see that as when she is in prison probably on medication and realising what she has done. So for a short section of the play she is lying. I decided to do some research into the science of lying. I found this video:

This was particularly useful because of the examples of guilty and innocent mothers. An actual women grieving and someone lying to save themselves. I have considered using this to inform my performance decisions. Maybe I am not as upset as I have been making myself in previous rehearsals, there should be more reservations in my character. The audience should see the performance and my behaviour and know that I'm guilty, even if my character wouldn't. I can't force any of this behaviour and I do not want to fall into a pattern of mimicking the guilty women I have seen videos of, but I want to try and develop my own version of guilt and lying that Sarah would portray as well as linking this to the research I have on mothers who kill and psychotic disorders.

Dream sequence

Today we developed the dream sequence in the play. This was based on the idea of using movement from our feet, elbows and hips. Then we developed onto the idea of our hand waking us up - or trying to. This was a good experience as an actor because apart from that brief movement description and some stimulus words we were given the freedom to explore this terrifying dream alone, through physical movement. This helped me to develop my character background and allowed me to understand her day to day frustration more. This was because the dream sequence leads directly into my beginning scene with Ruby, it also is what happens after the scene which I kill Ruby.

The dream is a significant part of the play which draws the 12 together. Without it the play was beginning to feel limp, and like it had no tangible theatricality to lift the words off the page. Having created this dream it now feels like our play had become a story. It has more depth to it and the characters are starting to make sense to me. The basis of the dream was simple but it allows us as actors to go with our instincts and work organically from whatever nightmeare our character has in its head. 

Discussions with my peers within the show after rehearsals lead me to feel like we are at a turning point within rehearsals. The skeleton of the play is there, with the dream sequence being the heart if that and it's now up to us to bring it alive. Now we need to realise how important it is to just know what we need to do and when, do it and do it well. Some of actors, including myself need to work on the projection and articulation of their speech. If we don't we will be lost when we enter the big theatre. I also feel that I have some more work to do on my character. There is still something missing and I think it's about the amount of pressure and unbalance in her mind that we can't see, that I need to portray through her voice and body. I also feel like this about some of the strong characters within the play that aren't been given enough energy or strength to the roles. Now we have the basic play in order and the dream it might be easier for people to go back over and re discover a character again.